Emily was born round.So round that if she fell down she could almost roll down the hill to the bottom.Her mother put red frilly dresses on her so frilly she shone like the sun.Sometimes people thought she was the sun.

At school Emily was teased for being round.The more they teased the rounder she got and the more she ate.She ate and ate and ate until she could not feel the pain anymore.After she ate until she could not consume not one more morsel she would read.She would read and read and read and pretend she lived in the storybook.She was safe in the story and did not have to face that she would never look like the other girls in her class.She was safe in the books, she was safe in the Sears catalogue.No one could hurt her there.No one would dare.

Emily never dated like the other girls but she really liked this boy who looked like Howdy Doody.In her books that she read and read and read he was her prince.He was the prince , HER prince that would take away the pain.One night she gathered up great courage and went to the school dance with a beehive hairdo, a gray pleated skirt and a gray sweatshirt.It was the best she could do.She didn’t want to look like the sun after all.Slowly she walked down to the corner where he sat with the other boys and with a small tiny voice she asked him to dance.He said no very loudly and he and all the other boys started to laugh and laugh and laugh.Emily slowly turned around and walked and walked and walked out the gymnasium door, out the front door and her feet didn’t stop until she reached her house and she slammed the door shut.

One day Emily found out that if you did not eat you could get thin.So for days and days and days she did not eat.She got so small her grandmother pleaded with her to eat.Emily did not care.She was thin now and all those boys that laughed at her liked her now.Someone liked her,no someone LOVED her and that is all she cared about. She married that someone but he did not really love Emily.He loved that Emily could work three jobs and send him to school.He was not the prince.He was not THE prince in her story books.So Emily ate and ate and ate and the prince finally left.Good Riddance to the prince.Adieu..farewell…

The princes came and went for years and years.Sometimes Emily would eat and eat and eat and then she found out if you threw up you could be thin.So she worshipped and re worshipped the porcelain throne until she was very thin.So thin she looked like a stick.Her hair was falling out and her heart pounded but she was thin.So thin ..so very thin..stick thin.

Emily tried for years to stay thin but she was dying trying to be thin.One day she gave up and started to eat and eat and eat again.Sometimes you hurt so bad that nothing else helps.You cant bury the hurt, you cant kick it along.It lived in Emily.It ate Emily alive some days and story books could no longer take it away.

One day Emily gave up as she could not stay thin without hurting herself.She could not be like Barbie or Midge or Skipper.She could not be willow thin nor even semi thin.She could not be young anymore she could only be old… very old.She could only be herself and not who she really wanted to be. Not who people wanted HER to be.People did not like this Emily,they could not accept it and made her know that.She just was not acceptable to them and they hurt her over and over.

One day Emily was hurting so bad she opened one of her old story books and pleaded with them to swallow her whole.Swallow her whole and stop the hurt.
The very next day someone came to see Emily and couldn’t find her.They looked and looked and looked and she was gone.They called and called and called out her name over and over and over.They kept searching and searching and searching and finally they looked under the bed and there laying face open on the floor was a thick dusty storybook.And there on page 39 with a folded corner at the top was a picture of Emily.She was smiling and smiling and smiling.And yes..she was thin.,..So very thin..

Linda Seccaspina
copyright 2009
Savannah Devilles